They Were All There - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
THEY WERE ALL THERE. Copyright, 1896, by F. J. Tierney. Written by Albert Hall. Composed by Felix McGlennon. 
I used to keep a beer saloon, to thirsty souls it was a boon, And all my pals would bring their gals and say, "How do, young fellah." One night the lot got slightly beered, and from my gaze they disappeared; All over I sought, till I bethought of looking down the cellar. 
Chorus. They were all there, every one was there, Not a blessed soul away, looked as if they'd come to stay. When I saw-it fairly made me swear-Pouring down the lager-they were all there. 
My maiden aunt, Miss Martha Splash, left me her house and all her cash, With forty cats afraid of rats; to keep them she commanded. I tied them up within two "ticks" inside a sack filled up with bricks; Then, like a shot, I dropped the lot, but when at home I landed-
Chorus. They were all there-every one was there, Every Tom and Tabby cat, looking healthy, fine and fat. When I saw-it fairly made me swearA-wiping off their whiskers-they were all there. 
A poor man's troubles never cease, especially trouble with police. The other night from sixty quite I had to run so fleetly; I ran up one street, down the next, until those coppers were perplexed; I skipped the lot and home I got, but I was done completely. 
Chorus. They were all there-every one was there, Thin policemen, long and tall, fat policemen, short and small. When I saw-it fairly made me swear-With sixty pairs of handcuffs-they were all there. 
I used to court twelve maidens fair, and told each I was true to her. One night each pet I should have met about the hour of seven; With each I named a different spot, then-met the sweetest of the lot. Thinks I with glee, to-night I'm free, I've skipped the other eleven; but-
Chorus. They were all there-every one was there, Girls of every shade and hue, whom I'd told I would be true. And I saw-they meant to curl my hair-With pots And pans And pokers they were all there.