Lal-la-pa-loo-zer - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
LAL-LA-PA-LOO-ZER Copyright, 1895, by T. B. Harms & Co. Words and Music by W. Murdoch Lind. 
There was a young fellow called Shal-a-man-e-zer, He hailed from Weehawken. the home of the gheezer; he courted a maiden, whose name was Theresa, And asked her to wed him, this lal-la-pa-lee-zer. The maiden she blushed and she winked her left eye, air. When Shal-a-man-e-zer told how he would prize her; She murmured, "Than take you, I cannot do wiser;" So she promised to be his own lal-la-pa-li-zer. 
Then Shalamanezer he reached up and kissed her; He had to be careful, or he would have missed her. "I love you," cried he, "'most as well as my sister, You dear little innocent lallapalister." But Shalamanezer he turned out a boozer. More beer he could hold than a schooner or cruiser. "Please stop it," his girl said-He did but refuse her, So she gave this poor fellow the lallapaloozer. 
Then Shalamanezer concluded he'd fool her, The hard heart within him grew crueler and crueler; He said, "I care nothing for king, judge, or ruler; I'll wait my chance to commit lallapalooler." One day the fair maiden strolled on the piazzer, No woman on earth was so beautiful as her; But Shalamanezer he ripped out a razzer. And he slashed her all up with his lallaplazazzer. 
The maiden she shrieked and got hot in the collar; Altho' she was dead, she continued to holler: She tore off the bangs, which had cost her a dollar, And called the base villan a loozapaloller. Then Shalamanezer's hair turned white as shylock's; He raved and he tore out his William E. Nye locks; Then jumped from the tops of some Hi Henry high rocks, And the wind blew a dirge thro' his lallapalilocks.