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Cal-Lib Song or How to Get a Man Since I was a tiny tot, mama taught me quite a lot How to look, how to sew and cook And of course, how to get a man Mama read the magazine, watch the color TV screen Each advertiser made her wiser at how to get a man My mama tell me: "Don't show too much common sense, I know from experience Use your head at the stove and bed and you'll surely get a man" My mama tell me: "Stay slender like sugar cane, eat no chocolate and no chow mein False eyelashes and perfume splashes will help you get a man" Soon I went on my first date, golly but I could not wait Mama gave me every recipe for how to get a man My mama tell me: "Go gargle with Listerine, take a bath in Mr. Clean Lift your dress up, spray FSD up, That's how to get a man" Don't you tippy toe down the stairs 'til you clip your nose's hairs Shave your armpits and make them charmpits, that's how to get a man Cover up with acnomel, store-bought hair made of dynel Lots of bother, but ask your father, that's how I got a man Finally, a man I got, he eat and he drink a lot Got big belly and kind of smelly, but still it is a man I make for him chocolate cake, half a grapefruit myself I take He got fatter and I got flatter, but still I got a man I am tired now of shaving and for chocolate I'm craving Liberation flag is waving, got to change my plan I tell my mama: "You can keep your recipe for your femininity You may love it, but you may shove it and you may keep that man" I tell my mama: When a man for me does fall, he will love me hair and all He'll admire though I perspire and that will be my man, hey That will be my man by Annette Kirk printed in Here's to the Women SOF